New Rule: Religion

New Rule, Religion must be kept within a five thousand mile radius of anything sane and logical.

Why?

Simple, you put religion where it doesn’t belong and shit gets crazy.

Take science. We live in a nation that takes the belief of creative design over the theory of evolution. I’m sorry, show me the scientific evidence that Satan turned into a snake and tempted Eve into eating the apple to get them cast of the garden of Eden and then have kids with Adam (Who went on to kill his brother in the first fit of spoiled brattery and then to fix it the parents have another kid. Smart.) and I’ll believe it. However, there is more evidence to the fact of the theory of evolution is more correct then creative design. Yes, that’s right. There’s more scientific evidence that we came from Monkey’s then Dirt. Radical thinking, I know.

Now see, you can all make religion and science work together. But no. People who try just end up getting eaten. And why? Seriously, what harm is to going to hurt to say ‘hey, we didn’t come into play only 5,000 years ago (and by the way, there’s evidence of modern humans over 7,000 years ago. 5,000 years is civilization not the human race.) and maybe we did come from monkey?’ and if you believe that god made all things why not monkey that evolved into Man? Radical thinking man! Radical!

And please, keep religion out of my government. If you insist on it being there, then I insist you give up your tax exempt status. Because really, that’s only fair. You make more money preaching about fear and hell then the government takes in in taxes each year. If you can afford to drive a Cadillac then you are making too much money and therefor need to share. Especially if you feel the need to foist your religious views onto my rights. And if you try to do that, I will throw an epic shit fit the likes no one has ever seen. And I’ve had some doozies, just ask my mom. You must realize that not everyone here worships the same religion, so please tell me, which religion would we put into office? Because you know, that somehow is going to help with foreign policy and job creation. No, you want religion in government so you can treat me like an incubator the moment I conceive a child. Because as a woman, I am clearly therefore evil, Pandora and Eve just proved that! And therefore I cannot be trusted to make any rational decisions on my body. I tell you what, when you nut cases can regulate my period, then you all can tell me my reproductive rights. Until then, keep your hand off my uterus.

 

Religion must be kept out of public school. If you want to send your kid to Catholic school, you cannot bitch about prayer in school. Come on, it’s Catholic school. What do the Catholics do? Repent like hell. And they start young. So don’t complain. But public schools, are paid by public taxes. If your church is paying for the school then sure, prayers and bibles for all! But until then, stay the hell out. We are supposed to be expanding minds. Not teaching a narrow point of view that can only be backed up with a book that was written by a game of telephone. And we all know how wonderful that game is for keeping information true.

I get the right to religious freedom. Hey, if you want to believe that pigeons are preventing the second coming of Jesus, you go and knock yourself out. I don’t care. But do not shove your religion on me or into government. No, we don’t need more religion in school. We don’t need to look to the bible to create laws. Not everyone believes in the bible nor do they believe in every single thing in there. And you gay bashers, stop picking and choosing what matters in the bible and you can use as your defense. If you’re going to start throwing the Book of Leviticus at me, I’m going to hurl it right back at you. If you want to be taken seriously then you need to follow everything in the bible. Not just what you want. So get rid of those clothes with mixed fibers (Leviticus 19:19) , that’s a sin. Anyone who is divorced must be killed. If a woman isn’t a virgin on her wedding night, the marriage isn’t legal and she too has to be killed. If you work on the Sabbath, no matter what it is, you have to be killed. (I guess the whole “To err is human, to forgive is divine” doesn’t apply here.) You can’t talk to a woman seven days before or after her period nor during her period (Leviticus 15:19-20) . No shellfish or pork (Leviticus 11:10 & Leviticus 11:7) , no balls made out of the skin of pigs or football on Sundays! (Exodus 20:8) and no round haircuts. No piercings or tattoos and no shaving (Leviticus 19:27). No Gossiping (Leviticus 19:16) and no cursing (Leviticus 5:4). You’re a sinner if you do any of this. Not going to follow this? Then shut up about how God thinks homosexuality is a sin. Are you God? No. In the Bible Jesus says “love one another as I have loved you” as well as “Judge not, lest ye be judged” and “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone” And since your probably wearing mixed fibers, you’re a sinner so put down the damn rock.

We, as American’s, are supposed to be this smart and advanced nation. No, not Utopia or Atlantis, but we aren’t supposed to be the hillbillies from Deliverance either! Come on and wake up people! We are teaching kids not to listen to teachers about the big bang theory because somehow that’s heathen words! Well no. It’s a matter of opinion. We need to believe in a talking snake, but evolving from Apes, now that’s just unnatural!

No, here’s what’s unnatural. What we’ve come to. When growing up, I was told how great this country is and I have to say, if I paid for this ride, I’d demand my money back because this so not what I paid for. I am surrounded by people who no longer can talk to each other intelligently. We are bringing up kids who are self-entitled and can’t handle failing grades. We don’t like having a black man in the white house (And let’s face it, that’s the reason most of the tea party protests against him. They can claim all they like it’s something else but it’s not) We are mis-educating our kids by telling them that some deity made us out of dirt (But don’t believe the Ancient Egyptians even though their legends say the same damn thing) and that we can’t teach kids about sex even though it’s everywhere and we as a society allow it since it markets to our base desires.

If you are going to allow religions that have magic underpants and consider caffeine a sinful thing and another who uses Independence Day as proof we have been visited then I am going to create my own. I shall call it The Fellowship of the Doctor and we shall all wear bow ties and Fez’s and run around defending those who can’t help themselves because no one else will stand up for them.

A Letter to the Romney's

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Romney-

Over the past months I watched your bid for the presidency and I’d like to say a few things. Things that I can’t say directly to you, since I’m one of the 47% and I am therefore clearly not part of concern, but here’s what I have to say.

If you have ever met anyone on government help; such as Disability, Medicaid, Medicare or Welfare, then you would realize that we are not here because we want to struggle. We are here because we need the help. I’m going to tell you something about myself. I am on Disability through Social Security due to severe depression. I know, I’m just a whiner, right? Well, if being a whiner is not being able to drag myself out of bed because I see no point in waking up, or feeling like I’m going to collapse under the indescribable weight that I felt like I was dragging around, then I guess that makes me a whiner. I am on Disability because I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain. I didn’t choose to have this and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. EVER.

And the vast majority of people who are part of this 47% aren’t there because they want to be there. Everyone would like a nice life that is free from the stress of money worries, but not everyone can do that, and through no fault of their own. Can you honestly look a veteran in the face and tell him he’s just a leech because he doesn’t pay taxes? No, but you sure as hell included him, and all other veteran’s in that group when you made your statement.

So I send you a challenge. Leave behind your wealth for six months and live the way we do. Try to live on what our lazy asses live on. Try to figure out how you’re going to feed yourself and kids with what we’re given. Try to figure out how to pay for hospital bills when you don’t qualify for Medicaid or Medicare and you can’t afford insurance from companies. Try to live with the decision of whether you buy your child new shoes or pay for daycare so you can continue to work so you can put food on the table. And then maybe then, just maybe then, you can earn some of my respect as a human being back. You have never lived this way, so you don’t understand. And instead of saying that, you cast blame on us and say we are just not going to take responsibility for ourselves. It’s hard to take care of everything else, let alone trying to figure out your ignorance.

Mrs. Romney, I’d like to point this out. You were a stay at home mom, not a housewife because I’m pretty damn sure that you didn’t cook, clean, do laundry and take care of your kids at the same time. If I had to guess, you took care of your kids. And while I acknowledge that that is tough, it’s not on the same level as normal housewives. Now that the election is over, call up Bravo and suggest a show called “Real Housewife of the Top 1%” because that’s the level of housewife you’re on.

And now, after losing the election, you continue to show you have no soul by saying that the only reason President Obama won was because he gave us “gifts” shows me further you have no idea the reason you lost was not due to Obama but was due to you and your inability to connect to the American people you claimed you wanted to represent.

In the end, you two are so out of touch, I can’t imagine why you had any supporters, but I guess that’s one of the mysteries of life. You don’t understand what it’s like to have nothing. You never had to make the choices people have in this world when they’re income is limited.  I happen to be able to work part time so I have a little bit of extra money, but I know there are people out there who can’t, who did nothing but be born with severe disabilities and have to get help from the government because of it. Are they lazy too? If you really want the American people, not the wealthiest of us but all of us, to even look at you like a normal human being again, then I make this simple suggestion. Shut your mouth.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Citizen

Tea Party Bigotry

New Rule, The Tea Party needs to admit they are bigots.

Listen, when our founding fathers had the Boston Tea Party, they were fighting against taxation without representation by the crown of England. Not because a black man was in the White House. See this is the thing, you are all sitting there saying that you are fighting against big government and that you are trying to preserve freedom and the American way of life, when really all you are, are a group of angry old white folks who fear change, because if you look at your rallies, I don’t see anyone who isn’t eligible for AARP and wouldn’t stand out in Utah. Now, I’m not saying everyone who is a member of the tea party is a bigot. But let’s be fair, they have more than their fair share. And really, this big government you’re fighting against is the one you guys keep voting back into office and it’s not the Democratic party. See this is the thing, The Democrats, at the moment, have no spine. They tend to just cave instead of fighting. And really, that’s what we need is a party with a spine, more than the GOP whom you all seem to think is going to “preserve the American way of life” Well, which American way of life?

 See when we started out, people who were black were considered only 3/8ths of a person and women were property of their fathers or brothers and then their husbands. And then, when blacks were given their freedom, they were treated as evil. Well, who the hell dragged them here? Then we try to expand to the West and fight against the “Savages” and in fairness that was the white people. We took their land and women, their food and their traditions, forced them to live where we told them and called them uncivilized? And now we somehow revere them. Well guess what, that doesn’t make up for the original Homeland Security. And then until 1921 Women weren’t allowed to vote because clearly the female mind couldn’t grasp the complexity of politics. And then the civil rights movement wasn’t until the 1960’s. And now we are still fighting for equal rights for all American citizens. So what exactly are we preserving? The right to suppress anyone who’s not a male white? I’m sort of confused here. Help me out here.

And if you all want to be taken seriously, try to spell correctly. I am not exactly the best speller either but if I’m going to put something out in public, I find a damn dictionary. If all else fails, I use Google to make sure the word is spelled right. And if you really want me to respect you, try not making shit up and calling Obama Hitler.

What Hitler did was an atrocity. He killed millions for being, what was in his mind, un-Aryan. (Which when you think about it, he was the least Aryan of them all but we’re not here to discuss self-loathing) He killed anyone who was not German, not Blonde haired and blued eyed, not the right size of eye ball, not the best of the Fatherland. He worked them to death, gassed them, and slaughtered them. Has Obama done any of that? No. Hell, I loathe George W Bush but I wouldn’t call him Hitler. He was his own form of stupid.

And if you want to prove you’re not bigots, don’t sit there and make signs with Obama as a Witch Doctor or constantly say he needs to go back to Kenya. Not everyone who’s black came from Kenya. I’m largely of German decent but that doesn’t mean I’m a Nazi. And of course, you’ll come back with saying I’ve no right to call you a bigot. Well stop giving me shit to prove I’m right and I won’t call you anything like it.

You see, you prove me right. It’s not a matter of me looking for a reason to call you bigots. You prove me right. With your Witch Doctor signs, Your bumper stickers that read “Don’t Re-Nig” and a picture of him with “Does this Ass make my Truck Look Big?” or your shirts that read “Put the White back in the White House.” You spout lies and make up shit when no one listens to the small lies. You talk about the downfall of America when the real shit started with the boy wonder eight years before. See, that’s the thing, you all put a un-evolved monkey in office and expected him to do the right thing while Cheney pulled the right strings. Well, guess what, it didn’t work. And instead of saying ‘We made a mistake’ and giving the new kid a break, you all freak the fuck out, blame the black man and tried to put admitted liars into the white house because they are WHITE. Would Obama get half this shit if he was white? No.

And that’s the sad thing about you, Tea Party, you make us all look bad. You make us all look like bigots. We are supposed to be this land of great opportunity. Where any kid could grow up to be president and it doesn’t matter what kind of religion or race you are. But no, we have a bunch of angry old white people standing on the streets with fucked up signs with lies and misspellings written all over them and making America looking like none of us have an IQ higher than paint on the wall.

Stop acting like you know what the founding fathers wanted. You don’t. It was a different time and you can’t take 18th century values and use them in a 21st century world. It’s not going to work. Hell, Thomas Jefferson advocated assisted suicide for those suffering from cancer and you’d all be hard pressed to agree with him and Dr. Kevorkian. See, you talk about preserving the constitution but you have no idea what you’re talking about. People fled from England and it’s unjust treatment and now you want that same unjust treatment for others because it’s what you believe. And half of the information you believe in is from Fox New, which makes up most of its “information.”

Stop making things up. Stop yelling at the fact checkers for doing their job. And start by working with democrats and maybe shit would get done that’s beneficial to everyone. Not this racist bullshit we’re stuck with now. Because it’s not getting us anywhere. It shouldn’t matter that the president is black. What should matter is what he gets done, but you all hide behind this curtain of patriotism and really it’s racism. So lose the bigotry and move forward. Evolve for Christ’s sake! This world is constantly moving forward and digging in your heels isn’t going to help a damn thing.

 So here it is. Stop hiding behind the veil of patriotism, because what you are doing isn’t patriotic. Put down your picket signs and pick up a Klan hood because really, that’s where I see you people at this point. And you really haven’t shown me any evidence to the contrary.